IN THE MID-1990’S, “AUTHENTIC MONATOMIC ANDARA CRYSTALS” HIT THE CRYSTAL HEALING MARKET WITH A BANG. READ ON TO FIND OUT ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST NOTORIOUS SCAMS TO SUCCEED IN THE CRYSTAL HEALING INDUSTRY TO DATE.
Table of Contents
- A (FAKE) STONE IS BORN
- WHAT IS SLAG GLASS?
- ITONIC STREAMS IN A SIGEL FIELD
- NOT MINE, YOURS!
- UM, THIS IS AWKWARD
- BUT IS YOURS CERTIFIED?
- SO HOW DID IT END?
A (Fake) Stone Is Born
In the mid-1990s, “Authentic Monatomic Andara Crystals” hit the market with a bang. The material was described as a “glass-like transmuted mineral complex from a naturally occurring mineral deposit high in monatomic minerals.” It gets better: try “Andara crystals are esoteric matter in the form of monatomic materials exhibiting quantum properties at a non-quantum level.” Impressive.
The incredibly detailed story went that they had been discovered on a “sacred site”, by a woman called “Lady Nellie” who had since passed away, and that they were ancient technology re-discovered. The price tag attached to these stones was very high, immediately creating a sense of value and exclusivity.
They came in a huge array of colours, and looked very much like glass.
So much like glass, in fact, that some sensible folks took another look. And so the story broke. It transpired that a handful of unscrupulous sellers had concocted a very elaborate tale to sell slag glass.
What Is Slag Glass?
Slag glass is waste glass left over from glass manufacture, and it’s available freely outside manufacturing factories all over the world.
Lots of people buy and sell slag glass for crafts, jewellery and collecting, because it’s really quite pretty.
Right: Screenshot of a “slag glass” search on EBay taken March 2023. Note the “7000+” results.
Slag glass is easily identified in a lab, and has a different chemical composition to natural glass. For example, bottle glass (artificial soda-lime glass) is high in calcium and sodium.
Some of these slag glass sellers came forward…
And publicly said they’d been selling slag glass to the “andara crystal” sellers, having not been aware of how it was being sold on. However once they saw the price tags being attached to the glass by these resellers, they felt morally obliged to object to the scam.
Itonic Streams In A Sigel Field
But two things happened simultaneously.
The first thing that happened was that the scammers who initiated the whole thing doubled down on their story and came up with (more) really bad pseudo-science to sound convincing.
For example, to explain the visible bubbles in the “monatomic crystal” (which is very indicative of glass) they claimed that the bubbles were in fact (this is a direct quote) “Highly charged itonic streams falling inter dimensionally into a moving sigel field creating whirling, elongated holes in time.”
This entire sentence is complete nonsense. What is an “itonic stream”? How does something fall “interdimensionally”? What is a “sigel field” and how is it moving? How are these bubbles “elongated” or “holes” in time? And after all that, they’re the bubbles in the stone? Just. Wow.
Literally gobbledygook. A whole lot of hot air. (that was a joke about ‘monatomic’, in case you missed it – monatomic is single atom, and is used to refer to the elemental noble gasses)
Nah, It’s Not Fake – YOURS Is Just Fake
They then said – and I have to admit, this part was quite shamefully clever – that there were people out there who were ‘copying’ the andaras and selling ‘fakes’ of the ‘real’ andaras. Thus, any and all tested material was simply fake. So no matter how many times it’s tested – ah, that’s fake stuff you’ve got there. Regardless of the fact that there was a clear trail of where the glass had been obtained from.
Um, This Is Awkward
The second thing that happened was that people who had spent tons of money on these pieces of glass, and in many cases had publicly raved about their amazing energy, could not or would not accept that they had actually been duped.
Imagine a well known crystal healer having posted on social media about the healing energy of these amazing andara crystals. How would it look if they then had to say, “Oh, oops! Guess I imagined it…”?
It would be terribly bad for their reputation and business.
So, denial.
But Is Yours Certified, Tho?
Do you know what happened?
The price actually went up.
The sellers created certificates of “real” andara crystals. And sold them for thousands of dollars more than what they were charging before the certificates. So, if you wanted to (or had to, in the case of many public personas) believe their story about fake material on the market being testing, you had to pay the new inflated prices. Because without one of their made-up certificates, you had a “fake”. They successfully increased exclusivity and demand!
So How Did It End?
Dude.
It didn’t.
You CAN STILL BUY “ANDARAS” TODAY!!!
I kid you not, despite it being April Fools Day, this entire story is true.
